For those of you who don’t know, our beautiful baby girl was originally scheduled to be delivered via C-section on March 31st. However, she made her entrance into the world early due to a ruptured amniotic sac at just 33 weeks gestation. As we celebrate what would have been her birthday, I felt compelled to share some takeaways from my experience, hoping to provide support and guidance to others navigating similar paths in our Cosmo Capri momhood. This journey has been filled with unexpected challenges and moments of joy, and I believe that sharing these insights can help other moms find comfort and strength during their own experiences.
As a mother who has experienced both full-term pregnancies and the arrival of a premature baby, I’ve learned that this journey is filled with unexpected twists. If you find yourself in a similar situation, here are some heartfelt tips I wish I had known, along with insights that might help you navigate the experience of being a premie mom.
Be Prepared—Even When You Can’t Prepare
You can never fully prepare for an early arrival, but having your hospital bag packed around 30 weeks gestation can make a world of difference. When my little girl made her swift entrance into the world, I barely had time to grab a toothbrush and an outfit for her; the two things I grabbed. So here are a few essentials I wish I had packed:
- Comfort Items: Slippers, a soft robe, and a nursing bra made my hospital stay much more comfortable.
- Personal Care: A hairbrush and body wash kept me feeling somewhat normal amidst the chaos and chapstick was essential - hospitals are so dry!
- Tech Essentials: Don’t forget your phone charger; staying connected is vital for support. My husband and I laugh because we spoke of all the things we would bring for movie watching and entertainment but we had none of that with our premie girl!
The Delivery Experience
My delivery was a whirlwind, taking just 2 hours from the moment I was seen to the actual delivery via c section. I had to verbally attest to medical requirements because my paperwork wasn’t ready. Here’s what helped me stay grounded:
- Trust Your Team: It’s crucial to trust your doctors, your partner, and whatever higher power you believe in. I was terrified but reminded myself to stay calm and believe in the plan laid out for me.
Facing the NICU
After delivery, the reality of seeing my baby in the NICU was not what I had envisioned. As a first-time premie mom, I felt both confused and overwhelmed. Here are some key insights to help you navigate this challenging experience:
1. Understand Roles:
- Right from the start, ask the nurses about their roles and how you fit into your baby’s care. I initially felt awkward about whether I should change a diaper or wait for a nurse to do it. Ask! With the busy environment it’s easy for the nurses to think you know what you don’t!
- I missed my baby’s first bath and felt guilty about needing to rest, but I realized I could have simply asked to be there. Communicating with the staff made everything feel more manageable and I was involved when I wanted to be
2. Dress for the Occasion:
- The NICU may not have clothing that fits your tiny one well. Have someone bring outfits that are suitable, preferably baby gowns, which accommodate all the cords and make their dressing easier. This small touch can make your experience feel more “normal.”
3. Seek Help When Needed:
- Even as a third-time mom, getting a premie to latch was super challenging. Don’t hesitate to ask for help from lactation consultants, nurses, doctors and family. When I finally got the support I needed, it made a world of difference for both me and my baby.
Embrace Your Journey
Your experience as a premie mom may differ significantly from your previous pregnancies, but it’s important to embrace this unique chapter. Each moment, even the tough ones, contributes to your strength, resilience as a mother and memories. I know my journey may not have been what I envisioned but it was still really special in its own way. Holding my girl in the NICU with my chair that felt like a hug, the nurses and kind staff the little art they made for her bassinet and more. Though different, special in its own way.
- Allow Yourself to Rest: It’s easy to feel guilty for stepping away to rest, especially when you see other parents by their babies' sides. Remember that self-care is vital. The care team will tell you when it’s okay to take a break, and you need to trust their guidance.
- Celebrate Small Wins: Each milestone, from latching to gaining weight, deserves to be celebrated. These small victories are what will carry you through the tougher days.
Final Thoughts
If anyone has questions or needs support, please reach out. My journey with my little bug has been transformative, completing my family-building experience and demonstrating my strength as a mom. You are not alone in this journey—we can uplift and support each other as we navigate the beautiful, complex world of motherhood.
Remember, your story is unique, and every experience counts. Embrace the love, the challenges, and the triumphs that come with being a mom, however that happens.
3 comments
I was a mom of a 33 weeks baby girl. When reading your blog, I reminded myself of those days when I was in the NICU for 2 weeks. The anxiety of her not gaining weight, wondering how long she was going to need oxygen, and feeling anxious for her lungs and eyes, as premie babies tend to have more issues than one knows. Babies in general are very fragile, but leave alone premie babies! They need much more as you can tell from your other two full term pregnancies. Thanks for sharing this, I wish I knew or had talked to someone about the possibility of having a premie baby. Now my last 2 cents is recognizing how their milestones will be a bit delayed comparing to full term babies, their age. So do not worry, just remember that they eventually catch up!
Great advice, she covered so much of what our NICU families experience. Remember you are a part of the medical team all day every day, ask questions be involved in care plan. Your baby needs this from you❤️
Best
A NICU Nurse
Such a tremendous journey and true gift that your baby is in this world and you can share what you learned with others. You always know how to find the most positive and practical takeaways. Hugs to all the fam!